Posted in Words

New Years Inspiration: Taking back my consent

Many years ago, when I was seventeen, I was bullied at work. There were no harsh words, no nasty tricks, just the pure evilness of a ‘friend’ removing me from their life overnight.

Suddenly she refused to speak to me, acknowledge me or stand near me, she even stole birthday presents from me. I used to love my job, I was eager to learn and working towards promotion, she destroyed work for me. We both worked five/six days a week and her actions continued relentlessly for over a year. Every single day I dreaded going in and my self-confidence dropped more and more as the months passed by. I became suspicious of other team members, imagining them all conspiring against me and pretending to like me. To escape I changed my job role, accepting a promotion I knew I wasn’t ready for – just to get away. Over time the stress of the promotion and subsequent positions wore me down until I gave in and let my destroyed mental health take over my life. Ten years later I still receive treatment to help me keep going and ensure that I can face each new day. 

There, that wasn’t exactly the beauty review you would expect to find on this blog, was it? The reason for my little tale of woe is because I chose to take part in the 2014 blog challenge (Originally mentioned here)

The first topic set by Gaby was:
“‘New Years Inspiration’ – the idea is that instead of writing new years resolutions on your blog you share a quote or a picture that inspires you and you think will inspire others in the New Year”

The quote I’ve chosen is one originally crafted by Eleanor Roosevelt although I first heard it in one of my favourite films – The Princess Diaries. 


The Princess DiariesI have chosen this quote because not only can I now see that I let that girl get under my skin and greatly affect my future but also that I have let this happen a lot in 2013 too. When a similar situation occurred in November I was advised by my friends to ignore it, I was told that the other person was pathetic and childish.. and although I knew those words of advice were right, I still let it get under my skin. I let the situation affect my work and I built it up in my head to something so much larger than not being spoken to for a few days. It hurt, and it bought back memories, so I let it change me. The paranoia returned, the sleepless nights, the fear of seeing that person and the complete drain of any self confidence I had gained since last time. This new situation bought back all the memories, feelings and reactions from all those years ago, and yet instead of learning from the past I allowed history to repeat itself. Again I let one persons actions affect me with more intensity then was possibly ever intended by her. Luckily this time the treatment didn’t go on for months, after a few weeks it stopped and with encouragement from friends and mentors I was able to move on.  

This quote is my message to myself, and to anyone else out there who lets other people affect them. We can’t stop people doing evil things; we can’t stop the cruel words if they are determined to say them, or prevent their actions if they are determined to make them. What we can do is stop the effect they have on us, we are the only ones who can control our body, our mind and our response. If we didn’t let them in, they’d have no effect on us whatsoever. 

“No-one can make you feel inferior, without your consent”

From 2014, I’m no longer giving that consent.

Advertisements

Author:

Digital Copywriter. Background in visual communications, brand management, visual merchandising and retail management.

26 thoughts on “New Years Inspiration: Taking back my consent

  1. wow, congratulations to your post, it is so honest and brave from you to admit how other people can harm you, i know exactly what you mean because i made similar experiences many years ago. i wish you all the best and a lot of strength for 2014. your quote has really inspired me!

    Like

    1. Thank you so much! I’m sorry you went through something similar, I hope you have found the strength to move on from the past. I’m so glad you’re inspired by the quote! Here’s to us, and a strong 2014! Xx

      Like

  2. I have a complete and utter new found respect for u hun your such an inspiration and im proud to call u a friend

    Steve

    Like

  3. I like this post – good on you for deciding to not let others get to you, it’s certainly a hard thing to do. Well written as well.

    Like

  4. This is a brilliant post. I think you are brave to post it and I feel privileged that you gave me a gave me a ‘sneak preview’

    I also join you in not giving that consent

    Like

  5. This is really great. The same thing happened to me in school, so I had to start all over and find new friends who I trusted. Good luck I’m the new year!!!

    Thenucreations.blogspot.com

    Like

  6. Good for you, moving on and for reaching out to help others. I too loved the movie and the quote is one we should all remember. We are not alone for the ride, we can and should take control of ourselves and our lives. Happy New Year. You’re the first blog I’ve visited for the challenge. I’m finding it difficult to get to people’s blogs without a good working list. Once I found the facebook group and clicked on your name it went to your facebook page, then from there I was finally able to come here. Gotta be a better way, a quicker way to get to peoples’s pages. If we have to click 3 times to get to one blog…we’ll never make it with the list of over 300. Ideas on how to improve that?

    Like

    1. Everyone who’s blogged will tweet a link with the hash tag 2014bloggerschallenge, so search for that on twitter for direct links x

      Like

  7. Well done Mungle. I gave consent to some ex-colleagues/ex-friends to hurt me in that way, and last year I finally decided to withdraw that consent. Every time I saw or thought about that person, I would say to myself in my head “I withdraw my consent.”
    It’s a work in progress. I’m getting there. I’m shoulder to shoulder in solidarity with you, my sparkly gorgeous princess. Happy new year, petal xx

    Like

  8. What a well written & honest piece that will no doubt help & inspire others. I think many people experience this kind of cruelty but few would speak so openly about it. It is refreshing to see positive action taken against such negative behaviour and I hope that this quote can stay with us all through 2014 and beyond.

    Like

  9. Happy New Year! To start off 2014 on a positive note I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award 🙂 check it out here: jesstastics.blogspot.co.uk x

    Like

  10. Beautiful post Elizabeth. It was so brave of you to share your experience with others, that it may help if they were in a similar situation. Good on you for rising above.

    Like

  11. Such a touching story! Hope you feel okay now!
    Is it too late to join the 2014 Blogchallenge? Please let me know, you can tweet me if you want @letslivehappy

    Like

    1. It’s not my challenge Hun, it you look on the original post I made there is a link to the organisers xx

      Like

    1. Thanks so much, I’m so glad your coping too and working your way to stopping your past affect your future, here’s to a new year and a new us!

      Like

  12. Well done for managing to write about this, it can’t have been easy. *huge hugs*. xx

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s