The sixth part of the 2014 blogger challenge is to write a post about food.. The trouble is, I can’t cook. I recently had to turn to Facebook to plead for help when making my first tuna and cheese toastie. I’m not even kidding.. However, as I’m sure that I can’t be the only culinary-challenged blogger taking part, and I don’t want to fail the challenge, I’ve finally written my first ‘cookery’ post…
Presenting my little recipe list for cooks who can’t cook:
1. Beans on toast
- Grate cheese on to a conveniently placed piece of kitchen towel (less washing up)
- Empty beans into microwavable bowl, jug, pot etc
- Microwave for 2 mins, set aside
- Cook toast however you like toast to be cooked
- When toast is cooked put on to a plate and add butter to toast
- The tricky bit – AT THE SAME TIME put the beans back in the microwave for 30 secs
- Add newly-warmed beans on top of toast
- Add grated cheese on top of beans
- If you prefer your grated cheese warm, then you are weird and shouldn’t eat cheese.
2. Chinese Sandwich
- Purchase ‘Sweet and sour’ or ‘Oriental spare rib’ flavour pot noodle, and a bag of prawn crackers.
- Come home
- Boil kettle
- Add hot water – DO NOT add water to the fill line, this is always too much water and makes yucky noodles, add to about half way instead, they really should update the instructions.
- Leave to ..cook… for two minutes
- Stir noodles, leave for how ever long the packet says, I can’t remember this bit
- Once noodles have cooked, drain the excess liquid by holding a fork against the rim of the pot and gently, GENTLY, tipping the pot to the side <— This bit is tricky but VERY IMPORTANT to prevent soggy crackers
- To look a bit posh put the noodles into a bowl, then add the sauce sachet and stir
- Sit down with bowl of noodles, fork and bag of prawn crackers
- Hold one prawn cracker, add a forkful of noodles into cracker, add another cracker on top – like a sandwich
- Eat quickly before sandwich disintegrates
Ps: This is not a meal to enjoy with company, there is no sexy way to eat a chinese sandwich
3. Indian Sandwich
- As above, but use ‘bombay bad boy’ or that weird curry flavour pot noodle and mango chutney flavoured prawn crackers (yes these exist, they are made by walkers sensations and are soooo good!)
4. British ‘high tea’ sandwich
- As above, but with chocolate Philadelphia and digestive biscuits – also known as easy cheesecake
5. Chocolate Praline Delight
- Jar of nutella and a spoon – sorted.
So there you have it, five square meals for each week day! After all that cooking effort you deserve a rest at the weekend, so either get a takeaway or go to a proper adults house for sunday lunch!